Saturday, December 26, 2015

So this is Christmas... and what have you done?

Christmas 2010 with my son, nephews and niece
Time flies...
I keep looking at pictures from the past, when my parents were still with us, when Giannis was just a little kid, when I was till trying to find our who I was...
Times like this, I can't help wondering if I was ever happy, if I used to have everything and now I don't...
The answer is negative. I didn't have everything, I was just going with the flow....
It's been some years now that I try to find myself...
Have I changed so much?
Yes, I have...
I am not the weak-willed person I used to be. I don't go with the flow anymore, I do have my own ways, whether people like it or not.
And I am alone.... although I am among hundreds of people I am alone...
Holidays are harder to get through....
A lot of things changed over the years... I have no parents to help me anymore, I have the responsibility of supporting my own home... Too scared to miss work, too scared not to spend time with my kid....
Lots of stress, nobody is actually there for me.... periods of depression... periods of ugly outbursts... why me?
It's not only me.... there are a lot of people struggling to make a living, lots of people who are in a lot worse situation than my own...
When you feel bad though, you don't actually care about other unknown people... you just feel how you feel... I don't know how to describe it... there are times of darkness. Nobody can help. You are just in a bad mood...
Holidays are really a bad time...
And  although I am around so many people, I just can't help it...

December 26th is always the traditional family gathering...
It's just me and the others....
The only consolation is the kids... So glad that everybody is growing to be healthy young people going their own way...
Lina my niece is studying to be a kindergarten teacher

The tall person over there is my nephew Antonis, who has already a contract at a big football team!! And yes I am getting shorter day by day!!!
Sometimes I realize how far I have come and I am glad with myself, but some days are really hard...
So this is Christmas... One more holiday has come to an end...

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